Crying Out Silent Read online

  Rhoda’s smile dropped like an egg on a slippery surface, which made me want to bust Joel up, but he was already heading for the door.

  Instead of going after him, I went to Rhoda. “Ignore him. He’s being a shithead ’cause he’s pissed off with Marko.”

  Her smile resurfaced. “You reckon?”

  “No, Marko’s long gone!” Joel yelled from the doorway. “He ain’t in the bog, you stupid slag, he ditched you.”

  “You’re an arsehole, Joel!” I yelled back.

  He flicked me the finger, then disappeared out the door.

  I turned back to Rhoda. “Ignore him,” I repeated. “Joel’s just a nasty bastard. Never listen to what that stoner says.”

  Rhoda bit her lip, looking close to tears. “You sure?”

  I nodded. “Positive.”

  I went for the door, Rhoda following me through it. In the corridor, students were milling about, morning tea in full swing. I made a beeline for the front exit.

  Rhoda ran after me. “Where are you going? Marko sits out back.”

  “To Ant’s.”

  “But I need you to help me with Marko. You can elbow me if I say anything stupid.”

  “Nah, you’ll be fine,” I said, weaving through students.

  She grabbed my arm, jerking me to a stop. “No, I won’t, you saw me make an idiot of myself. I need your help.”

  “I can’t, I have to find Ant.”

  “He can wait.”

  “But I wanna know what happened between him and Marko.”

  “Like Joel said, it’s probably to do with Ant fucking Marko’s cousin.” She tugged on my arm. “So, come on.”

  Knowing she wouldn’t listen, I pulled free, intent on making a runner, but stopped at the sight of Tiana’s brother walking down the corridor. Dressed in the rival school’s blue and grey uniform, Levi looked as hot as ever, the guy making the rest of my hair blush to match the pink streaks.

  “Whoa!” Rhoda said. “Who’s the honey and why is he staring at you?”

  “It’s Tiana’s brother,” I said, feeling nervous, because the last time I saw Levi he’d told me he wanted nothing to do with me.

  Levi lifted his chin up in a friendly hello as he neared us, pausing to give a student a sneer, the jock insulting Levi’s rugby team.

  “Hi, Levi,” I said, unable to stop from drooling a little. He had spiky, dark-brown hair and the most gorgeous caramel-coloured skin that I wanted to lick like a sundae. “What can I do you for?” I asked, wanting to do a lot for him.

  He didn’t crack his normal flirty smile, but that was hardly surprising considering he didn’t like me anymore. He’d found out I’d punched his sister, a death knell to any possible relationship with him, Levi uber protective of Tiana.

  “Have you seen Ash?” he asked.

  I shook my head. “He’s not at school today. Why?”

  He frowned. “He didn’t come home last night.”

  “Does he normally take off?” I asked, now concerned.

  “Not like this. When did’ja last see him?”

  “Yesterday,” I replied, the memory of him shouting at me still painful. I’d cried myself to sleep that night, still wanted to cry, because no matter how much I loved looking at Levi, I’d dropkick him for Ash any day. Love was the difference, and I was still head over heels for Ash.

  I brushed my hair back. “He was with Ginger, I mean Llewellyn Davies,” I stumbled over the guy’s first name.

  “Is this Llewellyn kid here? I needa talk to him.”

  “No, he disappeared after homeroom...” Like Ant. The sudden thought that Llewellyn’s disappearance had something to do with Ant and Marko hit me, but I remained still, more concerned about Ash.

  “Look, it’s important I find him,” Levi said. “He might know something about Ash. My sis is in tears, while Ash’s guardian has called in the cops. He’s worried that Ash might have topped himself.”

  My face dropped. “No, Ash wouldn’t do that,” I said, shaking my head. “Why would they even think that?”

  Levi grabbed my arm. “We needa talk in private.”

  My eyes shot to Rhoda. “I’ll catch cha later. Good luck with Marko.”

  She nodded, clearly disappointed I wasn’t going with her, but still disappeared down the corridor.

  Levi pulled me towards the exit. I allowed it, what was happening with Ash definitely worrying me.

  “Jenna!” someone called out. “Where are you going?!”

  I jerked Levi to a standstill and turned around to see who it was, finding Ms. Farris heading our way, bringing her bad mood along for the ride. But instead of staring me down, her glare was on Levi.

  She stopped in front of him. “Let go of Jenna’s arm, right now.”

  He did.

  She continued, “Why are you here and not at your own school?”

  “I’m looking for my sister’s boyfriend,” Levi answered her. “He’s gone missing, and the police wanna talk to Jenna since she might’ve been the last to see him.”

  Ms. Farris stared at Levi like he was spouting the biggest lie. “Go to the office and inform them.”

  “Look, I don’t have time for this shit,” Levi said, not bothering to flirt with the woman, which showed just how worried he was, because Levi lived to chat females up.

  “I repeat, go to the office.”

  He glowered at her. “I don’t go to this school cos you snobby arseholes wouldn’t lemme in, so you can’t tell me jack.” He grabbed my arm again and tugged me through the doorway, almost causing me to trip over the steps.

  “Come back here or I’ll report you!” Ms. Farris shouted, following us out.

  Levi ignored her, continuing to pull me towards the school car park. That was when I spotted Mr. Daniels getting out of his red Cortina. His gaze instantly shot to us, Ms. Farris making a damn scene. He closed his door and slipped around his car, aiming for us.

  “What’s happening?” he asked, looking warily at Levi, who was at least a couple of inches taller than him. Mr. Daniels also looked younger, even though he clearly wasn’t. He just had a really boyish face, a mix of hot and cute all rolled into one awesome package. When he’d first started working at the school, my class had mistaken him for a new student. Kelley had even pinched his arse, the slapper hitting on him so strong she’d ended up with detention instead of the date she was hoping for. I’d laughed so hard that I’d gotten a detention too. But I could never stay mad at Mr. Daniels, the hottie my favourite teacher no matter how many detentions he gave me.

  Ms. Farris went to open her big trap, but I got in first, “Ash is missing, he didn’t come home last night. This is Tiana’s brother.” I indicated to Levi. “He came to see if I could help him find Ash. The family’s concerned about him.”

  “Can I help in any way?” Mr. Daniels asked, being reasonable unlike Ms. Big Nose.

  “Not unless you saw him since yesterday,” Levi replied.

  Mr. Daniels shook his head. “No, he missed training.”

  “Well, if ya see him, get him to go straight home, cos the cops have been called in.”

  Mr. Daniels’ worried expression deepened. “Most definitely, and I’ll let the principal know.”

  Levi nodded, looking like he appreciated Mr. Daniels’ help, then jerked as his phone started ringing. He whipped it out. “Yeah, what’s happening?” he said into it. “Is he all right?” He breathed out. “Thank God! Yeah, yeah, thanks, man, cool, I’ll see ya there.” He hung up, his attention moving to me. “The cops found him sleeping on a bench at Claydon Beach.”

  “Is he okay?” I asked.

  “Yeah, but he’s in a lot of trouble.”

  I sighed, just relieved he was alive, Mr. Daniels also looking relieved.

  Levi indicated to his car. “Let’s go, the family’s having an intervention.”

  I looked at Mr. Daniels. “Can I go?”

  Mr. Daniels smiled at me and nodded. “Of course, I’ll inform the principal.”

  �
�Thanks, Mr. D, you’re the greatest!” I ran to Levi’s car and jumped into the front passenger seat. I did my seatbelt up as Levi started the engine. “Why are they doing an intervention?”

  Levi pulled out of the car park. “Ash is skipping school and freezing people out. He’s also started taking off without letting anyone know where he’s gone, like last night. If he hadn’t gone through what he had, I’d bash him for it, cos Tiana really doesn’t need this right now.”

  I glared at Levi. “Tiana? You’re worried about her? Ash lost his mum, got attacked—”

  He cut my rant off before I could get into full swing. “You don’t know?”

  “Don’t know what?”

  “Tiana’s pregnant.”

  My face dropped, totally went through the car’s floor and skidded across the street, roadkill within seconds. “What?” I choked out, knowing this was it, that Ash was never coming back to me now.

  “She’s got really bad morning-sickness and has lost loads of weight. Ash is putting her through the wringer, totally making things worse for her.”

  “So, that’s why she hasn’t been at school,” I said, forcing myself not to cry.

  “Yeah.”

  “Is it Ash’s baby?” Please say it isn’t, please say it isn’t... I knew it was a stupid question, especially since Ash was living with her, but I really wanted Levi to say no.

  “Of course,” Levi said, slowing down for a pedestrian.

  I leaned my head back, willing myself to stay calm, not to lose it, because I wanted to scream so loud it would shatter the car’s windows. Even after everything that had gone wrong between Ash and me, even when he’d shouted at me to go away, I still held out hope that we would get back together, but this... this totally defeated me.

  Levi turned onto the main road in Claydon. The houses were pretty much uninspiring, totally nothing to write home about, the neighbourhood a worn-out hotchpotch of Fibrolite and weatherboard houses. He turned right, passing a kindergarten and a primary school, then took a left onto Pleasant Parade—Ash’s road. The place-name was a longstanding joke since it was anything but pleasant. Nasty-looking properties lined the street, a few burnt-out houses, one across from Ash’s.

  Levi parked behind a row of cars, making me think of a funeral procession, which was apt considering the street looked like it was where people came to die. I got out and followed Levi to Ash’s one-storey, bungalow-like house. My nerves were buzzing as we ascended the steps to the front door. I just hoped that Ash didn’t look at me the same way as he’d done the day before: Like I was the worst person alive. He could do that, affect my mood with just one look.

  I toed my shoes off and entered the house. Ash was sitting on the couch with his head hanging down, while Hunter—his cousin and guardian—sat next to him. The Ice Cube lookalike, with his beard and flaring nostrils, was holding onto Ash’s leg as though he was anchoring him there. And I believed it, because Ash’s other leg was bouncing manically, suggesting he was a split-second away from bolting for the door.

  Tiana entered the room from the passageway, looking sick as a dog, and God, she had lost loads of weight. Her curvy figure was now slim, if not skinny. She wiped her mouth and went to sit next to Ash, who seemed to shrivel in upon himself. His leg pressed against Hunter’s in an attempt to avoid her hand as she laid it on his other leg. Tiana blinked rapidly, her eyes washing over with unshed tears.

  A really muscly man with a full-face moko—a traditional Maori tattoo—mumbled something a few seats away from her. I instantly recognised Ash’s father, Dante having shown me a photo of him. Ash’s thirteen-year-old brother had boasted that his dad was the coolest, and that as soon as he was old enough he was going to get a moko just like him. The way Dante idolised his father was the total opposite of how Ash saw him. Ash had told me that he hated his dad, and for good reason. The bastard had attacked Ash and his mum with a crowbar, fucking up Ash’s pinkie finger as well as giving him a nasty scar, his hair hiding a lot. Mr. Rata had been juiced up on meth, a monster in Ash’s words, which was why I didn’t get why he was here.

  Dante leaned his head against his dad’s muscled shoulder, answering my question. He was here for his youngest, not oldest son... possibly, since he was still staring at Ash with concern. Ash’s family was so fucked up I could never guess anything with them.

  A middle-aged woman with a perm approached Levi. “Is that everyone now?” she asked him.

  Levi nodded, briefly throwing a glare at Marko and Joel, who were whispering to each other by the passage door, sounding like they were arguing in hushed tones. They both stopped, noticing him looking their way, their mouths zipping shut pretty fast. Their gazes moved to me a second later. I stared right back, wondering how the hell they’d gotten here so fast, because I didn’t see them leave school. My thoughts went to Rhoda, worried she was going to get upset when she discovered that Marko had taken off. The lady with the perm started talking to everyone, forcing me to stop thinking about my friend.

  Her gaze swept the room. “We’re all here today because we’re concerned about Ash’s behaviour and want to help him.” She turned to Hunter. “I’ll leave the rest of the talking to you, Mr. Rata. As Ash’s guardian, I’m sure you’d like to be the first to let him know just how much you love him and how his actions are hurting everyone who cares for him.”

  Ash jerked his head up at that, his dark eyes rimmed in red. “I’m the one hurting,” he spat. “You lot didn’t see your mum get stabbed to death, didn’t hear your brother scream as he got smashed over. You also didn’t get hurt so fuckin’ bad that you had to stay in hospital for a week. I did!”

  He went to leave, but Hunter grabbed him, holding Ash down on the couch. Ash started yelling and cursing at him, causing Tiana to shoot up off the couch. She practically bolted out of the room, sobbing into her hand. Levi ran after her, while Joel and Marko looked away, their discomfort and upset almost palpable.

  A man who looked like an older version of Ash took Tiana’s place. He grabbed Ash’s face, forcing him to stop fighting Hunter and focus on him. He was speaking in a different language, Croatian probably. I hadn’t met all of Ash’s family, but I could pretty much tell by the way he looked and spoke that he was Ash’s uncle from Dargaville.

  Ash jerked his head out of his uncle’s grip and yelled, “Go away!” though he didn’t appear to be speaking to his uncle, his gaze sweeping over the room. It stopped on me for a moment, then he hit out at Hunter, forcing his cousin to let go of him. In a flash, Ash scrambled over the coffee table and went for the door, stopping dead as his dad shot in front of him, fear making him stumble back.

  His uncle was in between them in a flash, yelling at Ash’s father to back off. “You don’t deserve to be here after what you did!” he hollered, his hands clenching into tight fists.

  To Mr. Rata’s credit he remained calm, something I couldn’t have done if someone was in my face like that. Though, he still stood his ground, not backing off an inch. “I did my time,” was all he said.

  “Not enough, you should be locked up for life!” Ash’s uncle spat. “You destroyed your family, ruined their lives!”

  Then, like Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde, Mr. Rata’s calm exterior morphed into rage. “Like hell I did!” he yelled back. He knocked his forehead against Ash’s uncle, his whole body pushing against him, juicing for a fight. I’d never seen anything like it, the anger, the promise of violence... I stared, totally enthralled, because although I’d never seen it before, I’d felt it. I wondered whether I looked that vicious when I got going, whether my face twisted with rage, my muscles tightening, ready to spring, and for some reason it excited me. It made me wonder whether there was something wrong with me, whether I had a screw loose, because my fascination with violence was definitely not right.

  Hunter practically leapt off the couch, shoving the raging bulls apart. “Quit it, you bastards! We’re ’ere for Ash, not your goddamned feud!”

  “He doesn’t have any right to be h
ere!” Ash’s uncle shouted, pure hatred making him shake. “None of this would’ve happened if he bloody looked after his family. My sister is dead, my nephews are suffering—”

  “I didn’t kill Natasha!” Ash’s father cut in. “And my sons are fucked up cos she put me in jail and married a fuckin’ pervert!”

  “She put you in jail because you attacked her and your own son.”

  “I wuz methed up when that happened.”

  “There’s always a fucking excuse with you.”

  “And what’s your excuse when you fuck every bitch you see behind your wife’s back, eh?”

  Ash’s uncle tensed, all the colour draining from his face. “I’m in an open relationship, and you know it,” he hissed.

  “Does your wife know it?”

  Ash’s uncle went for Mr. Rata again, Hunter shoving him back. But he didn’t let up, the dude purely focused on smashing up Ash’s dad, lost in his own rage. Hunter didn’t waste time, tackling him to the couch.

  “Get off me!” Ash’s uncle shouted, sounding so much like Ash it was freaky.

  Hunter held him down, the man a lot bigger than Ash’s uncle. “Luka, calm yo shit down, you crazy mofucker! You promised not to lose it. That’s the only reason I let you come.”

  Luka stopped fighting him, his face twisting with sorrow. “I hate him, I fucking hate him! He destroyed my sister!”

  “Tane didn’t kill Natasha, Chaz did,” Hunter said. “You know that, so stop blaming him for another man’s crime.”

  “You didn’t see her after she put him in jail. She loved him. Do you know what that did to her? He broke her, like he broke Ash.” Luka’s glossy eyes went to his nephew. Ash was holding a hand over his mouth, his eyes just as glossy as his uncle’s. “I’m sorry, Ash,” he said, a tear falling onto his cheek. “I’m so sorry, mali.”

  Ash let out a sob.

  Hunter let go of Luka and went to Ash, looking like he was going to hug him.

  Ash backed up, shaking his head. “You don’t get to hug me after this.”

  “All I did wuz try to help you,” Hunter replied.